inner-child and inner-parent

Inner-Child & Inner-Parent

For a long time, I thought people who have inner-child issues are just mentally crazy. Later in my life, I needed to deal with multiple inner-children that I wasn’t even aware existed. Not only that, there was an inner-parent I created in order to survive and protect my inner-children. Everything was created unconsciously without me knowing any of them at all. At one point, every “success” my inner-parent created went completely upside down and destroyed like the tower in tarot. Because my inner-kids were about to die otherwise. I’m thankful for the journey now as I work with my clients and their unhealed inner-children. But why did they show up in my life? Who were they? And why did I create them in my mind? 

We, humans, do everything we can to survive reality. As a child, we see, feel, and sense the world without any filters. That’s before the conscious mind is fully developed around the age of 7. And sooner or later, we realize the world isn’t rosy, and it’s too painful or even dangerous if we let ourselves be. Having a pure mind isn’t useful when we try to survive the harsh reality. So what do we do? We suppress and block that part of the mind because it’s not valuable for the “real” world.

We block the pureness and numb our emotions. Suppressing over and over and over until we forget we even had that part of us. But the suppressed part of you doesn’t die because it’s still you. Instead, it separates from the conscious self and hides and waits in the subconscious mind. That’s the birth of the inner-child. And the child with unhealed emotion creates issues on the surface until you deal with the child. Like anxiety, hopelessness, feeling empty, anger, unhappiness, addiction, those are signs to tell you there is a voice inside of you. And the inner-child may have the key for you to feel whole once again. 

Meanwhile, the ego, protective-self, creates an inner-parent to discipline you to fit in the environment. And this part of us works full time to act perfectly, be liked by others, do everything to help you survive! The ego in a healthy sense can be a protective security guard like Set, the Egyptian god of ego. But when an inner-parent is created to deny, punish, and suppress any part of real you, it just becomes an over-reacting and over-protective parent. As a result, this part of you, ego, also gets exhausted by working too hard to protect you. 

Inner-child and inner-parent are created unconsciously as a survival mechanism, so many of us have no idea about them living inside of us. Some even erase childhood memory. The inner-child simply needs love, nurture, and acceptance. Once the child feels safe and loved, they’ll integrate with you. The inner-parent also needs love, recognition, and appreciation for working so hard to protect you.

When you can accept both and forgive the world that your soul contract brought you to the journey, you’ll feel the bliss. Because your inner-child and inner-parent always wanted to come to the surface to walk together. 

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